Don't
by xaveriix
Summary: Naruto's day isn't going as planned when he receives an unexpected text from Kiba.


The moment Naruto walks into the small auditorium, he groans and curses his own stupidity. He was on auto-pilot early morning, and accidentally walked right into the last place he ever wanted to be: Professor Hatake's English class. A quick look around shows that the professor has yet to arrive; it was not that surprising because if it's one thing Naruto realized in the beginning of the semester was that the professor is _always_ late. Naruto let out a wide grin; he still has time to make a quick getaway.

He makes a quick pivotal turn before his classmates notices him, and just as his step was about to pass the boundary between Kakashi's realm of boredom and the sweet world of freedom, he accidentally bumps into someone. Naruto quickly mutters a soft apology and looks up to see a very familiar face.

"Ah, Mr. Uzumaki, going somewhere?" The voice Naruto dread on hearing patted his shoulder as a friendly gesture. His professor still has his one eye crinkling with what appears to be happiness. "It's wonderful that you're finally joining us today!"

Naruto chuckles sheepishly "Professor… Fancy seeing you here" _so early_, he adds as an afterthought.

"You of all people should know Mr. Uzumaki!" he answers with an overly cheerful tone laced with hidden sarcasm. Much to Naruto's discomfort, Kakashi practically manhandles Naruto further into the room. Which was quite unnerving, really, since the man is almost as skinny as Reed Richards… Just without the whole stretching limbs part.

Kakashi claps his hands once to get everyone's attention and began his long drawl of today's lecture. He titled, "The wonderful Japanese author who contributed to the enlightenment of one's body and mind, Jiraiya."

After hearing the dreaded "J" word, Naruto softly bumps his forehead on his desk, repeatedly. Maybe he might get a concussion out of this and the time would go faster.

"Naruto!" a familiar high pitched voice calls out to him. Naruto looks up to see a pink haired girl glaring at him; her eyebrows are furrowed in clear irritation. "You're disrupting the class, idiot!"

Naruto shirks back a bit and smiles sheepishly apologetically. As soon as the girl's focus turns back to the front of the class, Naruto sticks out his tongue as his poor attempt for a comeback.

"…and you see that is why Jiraiya visits the hot bath to enlighten his imagination…"

Naruto groans inwardly, could this get any worse?

…

The professor is droning on about 'erotic literature' which is basically a euphemism for porn, Naruto snorts derisively, the last time he checked porn wasn't literature, it was just writhing bodies with awful cliché scenes and chained with very corny lines.

"Care to share your thoughts with the class, Mr. Uzumaki?"

"Nah, you're doing pretty well. I'll just sit here with the rest of the class." he says with a wide grin as he rubs the back of his neck. It still amazes him how Kakashi can hear so well, despite Naruto sitting all the way at the back of the classroom.

Kakshi gives him one more warning glare before he clears his throat to continue his lecture. Naruto knew that this week's reading of 'Icha Icha Paradise' was Professor Hatake's favorite series if his rambling was anything to go by. He knows about the series, pretty damn well if he could say so himself. His godfather wrote it, and he had to practically edit it. Some sort of rite of passage that went horribly wrong on his sixteenth birthday. Cringe worthy memories if anyone asked. So, Naruto wasn't going to make the effort to strain his ears so he could hear the old geezer fawn over it. He enrolled in the English Literature class to get the language credit over and done with, and now he sort of regrets it. He knew he should've taken the summer course, two months of torture rather than five.

Naruto manages to drown out his professor's voice about the devices of writing an erotic scene. He impassively scans what the other students are doing; it seems most of the guys in his class were either dicking around on the internet or trying to soak up whatever passage the professor was referring through the process of osmosis or something. There were even some who would turn bright red just with the mention of the word "sex."

He should have dropped the course that first day when he saw his professor for the first time, he immediately recognized the professor as one of Jiraiya's fan boy but damn the university and its graduation requirements. He grumbles as he taps his pencil to some random beat, until the creepy guy with the sunglasses -_ Who even wore sunglasses indoors anyway?_ \- stares him down and make his skin crawl. _Creep_.

Naruto couldn't take it anymore, he still had another two hours in this lecture. He should've stayed home and spent his time doing something productive, like get his assignments over and done with. Ha.

Naruto pulls his cellphone out of his jeans, and texts Kiba out of pure boredom. Maybe they could grab take out and chill after this.

_**Naruto (2:07PM):**__ Hey, you wanna hang out after class?_

He slips the device back into his pocket, and feigns interest in whatever a student behind him was inquiring about. Poor kid, must be the first time he shows up to class because he was actually asking a question. He didn't quite catch the end of it because his phone vibrated, and he shook his head. No matter what Kiba was doing, he always answered right away. He didn't know if it was something he should worry about or be pleased. But that was something to think about later.

To say, what he read was a surprise was an understatement. His eyes widen comically as he gapes at his phone, and hastily looks at his sides to make sure no one peeked at his phone to read the content. He first tried to hide behind his scarf but it proved to be useless, then he decides to lean forward to make sure he read the text correctly before replying quickly. He could bet his soul that the erratic thrum of his heartbeat could be heard throughout the small auditorium. Of course his reply was instantaneous. It's like the man has nothing else better to do than try and rile him up at the craziest times without breaking a sweat.

_**Kiba (2:09PM):**__ You had me at blowjob_

_**Naruto (2:13PM):**__ But I didn't say…_

_**Kiba (2:14PM):**__ Shhh… Don't speak_

He didn't know chocking on air was even possible until that moment. He gawks at his phone until the screen turns black. He was uncomfortable at first to say the least. A guy making a sexual joke with Naruto as a target, it was unnatural right? Despite the clammy hands, the drying lips, and the lump forming behind his throat, he kind of "likes" it. _Wait, what?_ Naruto felt the creeping heat from his neck and spreading from his ear to ear. In utter horror that he may swing the other way and _likes it_; he quickly stands up and knocks over some books in the process. Clearing his sudden dry throat he just knew that everyone could see his blush from a mile away.

"Mr. Uzumaki?"

"Uh…" he replies back dumbly.

"Was there something you wanted to add to the class' analysis on the relationship between the main character and the love of his life in chapter 7?"

Naruto could swear his professor's eyes were practically shining. "Well…" he scratches his cheek, "we could start with the fact that labelling the female character, 'the love of his life' is a little over the top when he ends up sleeping with the girl's sister by the end of the book, and that's not even counting the bunch of other women later in the series. This_is_ just the first book."

"Come again?"

Shit.

That must have been his favorite pairing. Who was he kidding? It was one of the most famous ships in the fandom. Couldn't he just keep his mouth shut for a couple minutes without rambling? Could the ground just open up and swallow him now? He just admitted to the whole class that he read not only the book but the whole damn series as well. He's just practically spoon feeding the many more reasons to be alienated by the female population.

He chuckles sheepishly, and runs his fingers through his hair. "Ah professor. I just remembered the funniest thing…" He knew he wasn't going to buy it, if his very expressive eyebrow was anything to go by "… I have an appointment" He continues as he tries to step over someone's legs to get to the aisle and in the process hit someone with his backpack. "…a very very _very_ important appointment that I absolutely cannot miss whatsoever." He threw a grin over his shoulder, and pointed at his watch-less wrist. "…and I'm about to be very _very_ late."

His escape wasn't as smooth as he wanted it to be, but he had somewhere to be and fast.

…

Kiba pulls himself into a comfortable position on his bed when he hears his phone chime. He unlocks his phone, fully expecting a 'fuck off' from Naruto, but what he got instead makes him smile like some deranged schoolgirl thinking about her crush.

_**Shino (2:22PM**__): Naruto ran out of here like his pants were on fire_

_**Shino (2:22PM):**__ Don't even_

_**Shino (2:23PM)**__: I don't want to know._


End file.
